Bernie & The Gravitones

This internationally reviled singing group was formed in 2000 by the gravitational collapse of a group of relativistically untalented singers in order to perform at KipFest, in recognition of Kip Thorne's 60th birthday. Since then the group, in various permutations and incarnations, has astonished audiences at many insignificant events. Their most popular musical signature is the key of approximate D-major and a half. Below you'll find the events, along with the lyrics of the sorry attempts at parody perpetrated by the group.

KipFest (2000)
The Wise Old Advisor from Pasadena
(sung to the tune of "The Little Old Lady from Pasadena", by Jan Berry (of Jan and Dean), Don Altfield and Roger Christian). An mp3 version, sung by Ben Kreusser, used by the 'Tones to learn the tune (sadly they didn't sound this good.)

Gravitones: Eanna Flanagan, Sandor Kovacs, Richard Price, Bernard Schutz, Cliff Will

Richard Price Fest (2003)
Richard Price
(sung to the tune of "Alley 0op" by Dallas Frazier)

Gravitones: Sandor Kovacs, Bernard Schutz, Kip Thorne, Cliff Will

Bernard Schutz Fest (2006)
The Very Model of a Relativist General
(sung to the tune of "The Very Model of a Modern Major General", by Gilbert &Sullivan)

Sian and the Curvatures filled in for the 'Tones: Sian, Rachel, Catherine & Annalie Schutz, Leslie & Cliff Will, Jonathan Korth

Cliff Will Fest (2006)
Where there's a Will, there's a Way
(sung to the tune of "My Way", by Paul Anka)

Gravitones: Sandor Kovacs, Richard Price, Bernard Schutz, Kip Thorne, plus Albert

Saul Teukolsky Fest (2007)
Don't Psi4 Me Saul Teukolsky
(sung to the tune of "Don't Cry for me Argentina", by Andrew Loyd Webber)
Gravitones: Eanna Flanagan, Sandor Kovacs, Richard Price, Kip Thorne & Cliff Will

Sandor Kovacs Fest (2007)
Physicist Heal Thyself
(sung to the tune of "You Gotta Have Heart" by Richard Adler and Jerry Ross
Leonid Grishchuk Fest (2009)
From Russia with Love
(sung to the tune of "From Russia with Love", by Lionel Bart)
Gravitones: Bernie Schutz & Kip Thorne, plus guest artists Stas Babak and Deepak Baskaran

Carl Bender Fest (2009)
PT Goodbye
(sung to the tune of "As Time Goes By", by Hermann Hupfeld)
Gravitones: Cliff Will doing a solo gig


Martin Walker's 70th Birthday (2013)
Proud Martin, or Rollin' on the Isère

(sung to the tune of "Proud Mary", by John Fogerty)
Gravitones: Bernie Schutz and Clifford Will