Abstract: In this narrative, I will describe the life of an organization called FLAT (Families Learning Accurate Theories), which was active in Lawrence Kansas during 1999. FLAT advocated the flat-earth theory, the Biblical p=3.00, and opposed the teaching of foreign languages. FLAT is no longer very active, but guerilla strikes occasionally happen. During its short life, FLAT garnered international attention. Although it dealt with only a local issue (in one school district) it focused media attention on Kansas with regard to the teaching of evolution. When the Kansas School Board adopted its famous eviscerated science standards in August 1999, there was strong reaction and major publicityalthough similar things had happened in many other states previously, with near total silence.