Abstract: A small black hole, m, orbiting a much more massive hole, M, travels along a path through spacetime which is most easily described as free-fall motion in M's geometry perturbed by the presence of m. This motion reflects the effects of the gravitational "self-force" acting on m including both gravitational radiation reaction as well as some conservative effects. A novel technique uses currently available methods of numerical relativity to determine (1) the perturbation in the geometry, (2) the self-force acting back on m, and (3) the signature of the self-force on the gravitational waves emitted during this extreme mass-ratio inspiral.