There is only so much unwavering devotion to the harsh mistress of Physics that undergrads swamped with homework or graduate students, like me, in the throes of dissertation-writing, can muster before something must give. When it gives, and give it will, it is preferably in favor of something completely frivolous. For this, the annual Hoggetowne Medieval Faire is ideal.

Two weekends a year, which this time around fell on January 28-29 and February 3-6, the Alachua County Fairgrounds are transformed into Gainesville's homemade feudal carnival. On the last Sunday of the Faire a handful of physics students and friends braved chilly winds and sunburn to take advantage of this event. Although a medieval festival sounds like an opportunity to learn something about life in the past, children and adults alike can be assured the Faire prefers fun to historical accuracy. Take for example the annual chess match between good and evil put on by the local acting troupe The Thieves' Guild. Each year a mythical conflict is played out in a live-action board game, with human chess pieces on a 200 sq. ft. board surrounded by bleachers. This year the theme was Robin Hood and his Merry Men (and Women) versus the Sheriff of Nottingham's posse. Last year saw King Arthur fight Mordred. The good and evil kings, Robin Hood and the Sheriff, respectively, direct the match. When one piece overtakes another, staged combat decides the outcome. This might involve a well-choreographed swordfight or something more akin to WWF wrestling, with fair play devolving into airplane spins, kidnapping, and the dreaded fake backbreaking drop-kick.

At least no folding chairs were involved. The crowd loves it. Supporters of Good and Evil seem equally bloodthirsty. My friends and I cheered, "Two, four, six, eight. Who will we decapitate? Mutilate? It's your fate. Kill! Kill! Kill!"

That alone could be worth the $10 admission, but there's plenty more to see. There are jousts on horseback. When you get hungry or feel like shopping the Hoggetowne Faire offers up a smorgasbord. One can get food that varies from vegetarian treats to huge smoked turkey legs. Vendors peddle costumes, jewelry, weapons, musical instruments, and leatherwork like whips and cuffs (Faires everywhere seem to harbor a Flagellant-inspired masochistic undertone). There are carnival activities such as axe-throwing and elephant rides. My personal favorite in this category is archery with live human targets. Just 25 cents buys an opportunity to shoot a rubber ball-tipped arrow at a person in armor. I saw one young woman apparently working out some pent-up aggression with about $20 worth of arrows. The brave targets are volunteers from the local branch of the Society for Creative Anachronism, or SCA. These are the folks you might have seen at the Reitz Union of a Friday night, demonstrating the ancient art of beating people in homemade Freon-can armor with padded sticks. All I can say after having participated a few times is that it's a blast.

At several stages throughout the fairgrounds one will find performances by the Davinci Brothers comedy show, musical acts like the Empty Hats (featuring the famous Bedlam escapee Loony Lucy) or bawdy wenches singing songs full of naughty euphemisms that leave parents cackling and kids looking around in confusion, wondering what they missed. While many of these acts are part of the itinerant Renaissance Faire crowd that travels like gypsies from festival to festival, the Hoggetowne Faire mixes in local talent such as the Sahnobar Dance Ensemble. It is composed of Middle Eastern dance artists and musicians from Gainesville and surrounding cities who shimmy and shake in pseudo-Bedouin costume to live drum, flute and viola. This was the last show we saw that day. It was getting late, and with the sun hiding behind the tree line we huddled together on the benches for warmth. Inevitably the physics crowd was called up out of their seats for some audience participation, and we shook our booties mightily for the assembly. Then it was time to go home, sun burnt, well-fed, and happily, no wiser for the experience.