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We all know that physics isn't everyone's cup of tea. Most begin to tune you out once you spew out more than 3 physics jokes per month. Maybe you mention that the proton went out with the electron because it was "positive it was attracted to her". For you, this has been Zing of the Day. Let's face it: you are a physics nerd.

A member of this elusive group spends most of his/her time in labs working on research. The other 10% of the time, however, is spent laughing at puns and jokes about physics. Remembering some of these will make good water cooler talk. Some of these you can wear. Some make good Facebook groups.

Facebook can only begin to display the first 500 groups relating to "physics", with 47 of them being on the UF network. Either way, there are groups about how physics relates to Your Mom, makes you want to Kirchoff, gives you a hadron, and how Einstein totally P\/\/|\|Z0|23|) (pwnzored) newtonian physics. I know some of you aren't reading this sentence because you're currently searching for these groups. Those that aren't are probably already members. On to the forefront of phunny physics-related consumer products! I give you: www.scienceteecher.com. That's right-science *tee-cher*. Because they sell tees. Of science. Like, for teachers... BRILLIANT! For instance, they have a great nerdy assortment of "Pi" shirts. Pi to 3045 digits. Irrational but well-rounded: pi. Have your pi and e it too (with how pi relates to e). Geometry: Easy as pi. Not hungry? Try some of these. d/dx: Derivers wanted. Half of all people don't get fractions OR percentages, but the other 25% does just fine. And God said [Maxwell's Equations] and there was light. Just (integral of) du it. Taken vector calculus? Then you'd appreciate this one:

What do you get when you cross a cat and a light bulb? : Cat Light bulb sine theta.

My favorite, and of course most useful, is the "Physics Formula Shirt". This handy dandy shirt comes with a bunch of physics formulas printed on it. Perfect for most physics classes, it contains the kinematics equations, E/M equations, optics equations, and modern physics equations. The best part is that the formulas are all written upside down on the shirt, so that a quick glance downward will reveal what you should write during your exam. A very conspicuous cheat sheet, if you will.

If these weren't enough to satisfy your inner nerd, you can head over to: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/physics/funny. With over 550 pieces of merchandise, you can't go wrong. For example: Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm). Photons have Mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. Black holes really suck. Forget Varsity Football: Varsity Physics. E = F flat (Einstein's Theory of Musicality). Heavy Metal (Uranium).

I'll leave you with this bit of info. Here lies Heisenberg: Maybe.