According to a surprising study released last week by the Department of Education, Physics is considered more difficult than English, Public Relations, and even Sports Management. "I have always feared this were true," said someone speaking on the basis of anonymity. "Now I understand why my parents cried when I switched from Electrical Engineering to Physics, and why they made me visit the shrink!" Upon learning of this astonishing result, another student said: "My best friend is a Philosophy major, and she used to make fun of me, saying I had picked the easiest major ever. Now I have proof!" Physics professors were excited at the news.

The study was released late last Wednesday, sending a shock wave through universities nationwide. Many great minds in other fields, including literature professors, were uncharacteristically unavailabe for comment - many literature majors were thrilled by this development. Non-physics professors at the University of Gerogia have closed down shop, and plan to spend the rest of their days raising pet bull dogs, and repeating the mantra "at least we made the tournament." Florida State University has lost their entire Classics and Creative Writing departments, and will no longer be able to run its circus school.

On a more positive note, the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences here at the University of Florida can now pay its physics professors an elevated salary, some estimating as high as $15,000 a year, all while reducing its debt. This is due to the shrinking English and History departments as students defect to physics majors for prestige, and other professors retire out of shame and boredom. We at UPnews formed a committee to ask the Dean of CLAS what he felt about this. The committee could not decide what to ask or who to ask.